Occasionally people seek my assistance to connect to the spirit of a loved one but sometimes those in spirit choose to make contact without being invited. I never deny this interaction as I understand that it can bring much comfort and understanding for those of us who are left in the physical world, grieving for our lost love.
What many people do not realise is sometimes a spirit may still be attached to the physical world as if they were in a body. Emotions, pain, and remorse can be felt from the spirit person. When we leave this earthly existence we choose: to let go and move on or to stay attached to this life.
This is a story about a teenage boy who, in a moment of rage and sadness chose to stay.
An old Buick pulled up with three people inside. My client had advised me that her partner would be driving as she didn’t have a license but he would not sit in on the reading. I thought nothing of the fact that there was a third person sitting in the back seat, perhaps a friend who had come for support. All I knew was that this lady had recently gone through a spiritual transformation and wanted some guidance surrounding the path ahead.
I opened the door to my client, a lady in her fifties wearing a long white dress with a flowing robe and amethyst beads around her neck. Walking behind her was a young man, a teenager, he seemed shy and did not make eye contact despite me saying hello.
I escorted my clients down the hall and into my room that was always brightly lit by the sunshine that streamed in through the window. The light would bounce off the lemon coloured walls which I always thought provided a reassuring warmth for people who may be nervous before a reading. Many people would comment on the energy and colour of the room and this lady was no exception as she looked around and smiled commenting that she felt better already.
I closed the door to the room and turned to face both of my clients. The young man was stood behind the lady and it was then that we made eye contact. Straight away I realised that the young man was dead. His face had a grey pallor, eyes sunken and a coldness emanated from him that made me shudder. I wondered if she knew that he was here. Then as if on cue, he announced that his mother could not see him and that she didn’t want to.
He Needed My Help
I sat down bewildered as I had honestly thought he was a physical being. He was so clear and solid not like the spirit people I usually connected too.
His mother began by saying that she had liked my website which is why she chose to see me. I smiled and replied that there was a young man who had walked in with her. We sat for a moment in silence before she replied “I wondered if he was with me. I can feel him.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as I tried not to join in with her sadness. I could feel the painful anguish of both her and her son. I knew he had regretfully taken his own life.
I explained that she had come to the reading with the intent of looking to the future however I knew the future for both of them could not be fully enjoyed without acknowledging the past and present. She said that she had made peace with her son’s death. This had prompted her to turn towards spirituality. I thought that this lady was burying her true pain deep down and used spirituality as an excuse not to feel the true burden of grief that she carried within.
Her son wanted me to pass on the details of his death, how it had all happened, he regretted it so much that he could not move on until he knew that his mother understood. The following hour was very painful for his mother but at the same time, it unlocked her turmoil. We discussed why her life seemed to be at a standstill and that it was okay to acknowledge the pain and anger as well as the need for love.
The young man listened and interjected each time his mother seemed to deny her feelings. He told me how she had always been in abusive relationships and never took control. This made him angry because she would then blame herself when the partner left.
This is why he had turned to drugs. It became an outlet, a way of not dealing with the abuse that he witnessed and experienced. He said that he was just the same- in denial. His mother explained that her son had tried a few times to take his life but had never thought that he actually would do it. He turned to his mother and tried telling her that he was sorry and was afraid to leave her alone.
I relayed everything he said. She just nodded, cried and sometimes yelled, “What am I supposed to do? Why am I here?
Her life had changed, gone were the abusive men. She had found a man who shared her beliefs and interests in spirituality.
Finally, she asked me the questions that many ask. Is he free now? Does he know I don’t want him to be stuck with me? I tried as best as I could to explain to the young man that he was free to go with spirit, that he could still come back and visit his mother but no matter what I said, he didn’t leave. Instead, he shook his head believing that he had committed a terribly selfish act.
I turned to my spirit guide for assistance. “Can he see you?” My guide replied, “He doesn’t want to, no. It is up to him to move on. There are specific guides waiting to help him. He just needs to say he wants to go.”
I felt terrible for both the mother and son. I looked into the future to see what possibilities were in store. I could see a path to healing, meeting new friends and moving to a warm location. But in all of the images, I could see her son standing in the background still blaming himself and believing that he had committed such a terrible act of selfishness. This made me truly sad.
Finally, they both left. I watched them drive away wondering if things would ever change for him.
My guide appeared, his hand on my shoulder. “You cannot help everyone”.